Yesterday I came home from a visit to my mother and it made me very happy she’s had a lovely time. There is probable in each woman’s life a time when we have to acknowledge our mother is past mothering and when we visit her we give our love and time freely and patiently without the expectation of feeling nurtured and being fully accepted for who we are today. Being free from expectation is hard, so when I returned home I felt rather tired. This morning I didn't feel like doing anything but just sit and rest. But my mind kept churning over my experiences from the last couple of days and since I didn't want to sulk and pity myself any longer, I pulled a card for some comfort and support and I pulled the Queen of Wands from the Shadowscapes Tarot. Here we see the queen playing on her living harp. All the denizens of the forest gather around to listen to her uplifting tunes. Curling leaves are unfolding. The earth is moving in spirals, inwards and outward .Nobody and nothing in her presence can muck about and pout while her fingers are dancing across the strings. I cannot identify with this queen,not yet but she is a great inspiration to follow the humming energy of my creativity which always makes me happy. So now I am going upstairs to work on a painting: adding some layers of paint and pastels. And I am sure I can shake this feeling of disillusion.