For today I have drawn the Nine of Wands from my far too long neglected Shadowscapes Tarot.
We see a row of sentinels at the edge of the world where every evening the sun goes down and unknown enemies come crawling out of the abyss to hide in the shadows, waiting….
One of the keywords for this cards is vigilance. Be prepared for whatever might happen. It speaks to me about living in fear of eventualities which may never happen or are very unlikely to happen. After some traumatic events a long time ago, I've lived like this for many years. Afraid of the outside world and anyone who might harm me or my children. Now, when I look back nobody was out to get me, nobody followed us in the shadows. Maybe because I have been such a watchful guard but probable because nothing threatening was out there. I feel sorry for this fearful woman who is still around but gradually less prominent. Maybe I could try to see these sentinels as our guardian angels and trust we are watched over by the Divine. That would suit me quite well since I am going to visit my mother for a couple of days and traveling is for me still quite an undertaking.