To be
honest I wasn’t quite in the mood to blog today but my daily cards decided
otherwise. I couldn’t resist to write down the message of these two cards. Also
they are a perfect pair to follow up the Ace of Wands from a few days ago. That was such an energizing card; so
promising and exciting. But then after my birthday nothing happened. Everything
was the same and I felt stuck instead of eager to play with the new art supplies
I got for my birthday.
And then
I drew the Daughter of Wands, an ideal card to promote experimental play in my art
journal. Just to have fun and feel free to explore all kinds of ways to paint
and collage and stamp and whatever comes to mind at that particularly moment.
But nothing of the sort happened. The thought crossed my mind that maybe I was
tired of my birthday festivities.. .Yeah right. Who was I kidding. I was afraid
to open my book and to be unable to make my mark today. Or that it would be
more of the same and nothing new and exciting would appear on my page. Why, what
is the matter with me and then I drew The Tower. Often when we do daily draws
and we get The Tower it is not as bad as it seems but today it perfectly represent
my fear of being inadequate. Fear is often very great exaggeration of the actual things that
might happen in a certain situation. I mean honestly, what is the worst thing
that could happen if I did "fail" today. I am quite sure the lighting wouldn’t strike
me.
So after
posting this I am going upstairs and open my journal, put some paint on the page
and see what happens next.
Good for you! I'm sure you'll create something wonderful. I drew the Tower today as well...for my situation I think it was more of a warning, a chance to avoid or prepare for a downfall. Only time will tell.
ReplyDeleteIt wasn't something wonderful I made but it felt good to create at least something
DeleteI hope your Tower situation is manageble
That daughter of wands is like Rapunzel trapped in her tower, wanting to be freed from the oppression of perfection. :) Glad the liberator in you took action! :)
ReplyDeleteHihi to be my own knight in shining armor!
DeleteI find there is often 'birthday letdown', a natural ebbing that balances out the anticipation and excitement of the lead-up, even if it's all very low-key. I drew the Tower today, too. But this card has been following me around for weeks now so, no big surprise there. Posting rather than not is very Daughter of Wands, IMO, so good on you, my dear, for finding a way to carry that spark into embodiment no matter how small it may seem.
ReplyDeletehonestly I did feel a bit proud of myself to be able to get moving and something. But you are so right: life is all about breathing in and out and these past few day I am experience the out breath
DeleteAll Lighting strikes don't have to be bad, they can be a strike of inspiration.
ReplyDeleteMaybe so but I am also a bit scared of thunderstorms in real life :D
DeleteMy Mother was a bit terrified of thunderstorms. I remember her always going to this little hanging alter where she had a statue of Blessed Mary and lit a candle during the storms.
DeleteMy mother was too. Maybe I copied her anxiety as a child. I love your mothers storm ritual
DeleteFunny, I don't really think of the Tower as unfounded fear, but I like your interpretation. Hope you managed to connect to the fun of the Daughter of Wands, Ellen :D
ReplyDeleteSometimes you just have to go with the initial response to the card to make sense of the complete message. This was the first time for me too to interpret it this way. :)
DeleteA very powerful realization, Ellen! This intersects really well with your New Moon drawing. The Wheel can be monotonous, especially when we preserve monotony in order to escape the unknown. The Moon is the deep unknown of the soul, the "what ifs" of our hearts; the deep well of creative raw material. "What if I do it differently this time?" Feeling the fear and doing it anyway, as your title says.... really good stuff.
ReplyDeleteYes perhaps a lot of these reoccurring feelings can be expressed creatively if I can move through the fear :)
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