Four of Swords – Quiet down our Inner Critic

Today’s question is: "How can I let go of self doubt?" and I pulled the Four of Swords. As you know this is one of my “sigh” cards; my permission to let go and quiet down the mind from anxiety and those nagging critical inner voices.  After having completed my oracle challenge on IG, I am experiencing waves of self doubt again. Afraid of putting something on the page which is less “pretty“ than my DIY deck.  Even in my art journal, where I try to play more freely and experiment with my art supplies, I feel the urge to create something “beautiful” and with “beautiful” I mean worthy to show other people. This feeling  has made it crystal clear to me  my that  Inner Critic is holding the reins (again)

So this morning I decided to take up my habit of writing 750 Words a day, before doing anything else. This is the digital equivalent of writing morning pages. For me it is a perfect way to clear my mind and to get those creative juices flowing again. This way I will be able to create room to relax and to do whatever fills me with joy, without any result oriented expectations. This  could be just as simple as allowing myself to take a nap, a walk or perhaps filling up a (new) page in my art  journal just for the fun of it. And no, I am not obliged to finish the last page and make it more “pretty”. Maybe it is even better to fill up some loose leave pages first. Just putting a few collage elements, some paint and some scribbles on them to overcome my fear and to loosen up a bit. The only rule is to keep it abstract!

All and all a very timely question for me today.

Full Moon in April

For this full moon I have pulled three cards from my Original Rider Waite Tarot. Even though I have so many other beautiful decks, I seem to be in totally love with this deck all over again. Of course it has been my one of my favorite tarot decks all along but nowadays I read with no other deck than this one. Maybe it is only a springtime infatuation but I will enjoy it while it lasts.

I have asked my deck three questions:

What is crystal clear? Two of Wands – It is time to pick a Wand, to make a choice. Don’t feel pressured to go for the easy option. The options are many. The world is in the palm of our hands. So maybe it is also time to leave my comfort zone.

What am I grateful for? Queen of Wands – although it doesn’t  always show, I know that beneath my fear of failure and my insecurity lives a passionate and creative woman who is eager to get up from her throne and is ready for some action.

What do I need to let go of when the moon starts to wane? Nine of Pentacles – This is one of my favorite cards in the deck. And just like with The Hermit, I am too much attached to this secluded inward energy. But  there is no need to break down the wall. Perhaps I will look for the gate of her garden so I can (again) leave my comfort zone. I noticed she is looking to her bird instead of to the city in the back ground. And her bird doesn’t bring her much new from the outside world either because he is blindfolded.

Together the cards all seem to convey one clear message: leave you comfort zone and live a little! Easier said than done but the fact I read it in these cards is promising. I don’t have to jump from the castle tower. I can take also the stairs J

Ten of Swords - It can’t get any worse than this.

Today”s question from Willowseast to draw a card with is: "How can I move forward when I feel stuck?" 

I pulled the Ten of Swords from the Original Rider Waite Tarot. It can’t get anymore stuck than this. The figure in this card is pinned down by ten swords and he isn’t likely to go anywhere soon. Since Swords are all about the mind, we can be certain this guy is overwhelmed by his self defeating thoughts and a tremendous amount of anxiety. Nothing is more paralyzing than anxious thoughts racing around in our mind. But the end of his suffering is near. Because he has turned his head towards rising the morning sun in the east: The promise of new day. We don’t have to try to pull these swords out, for  that is literally impossible. By our twisting and turning they would only sink deeper and hurt us more. No the solution is so simple. Focus your mind on the rising sun and the swords will disappear. Breath in and out and then slowly get up and start walking. With every step your wounds will heal and with every breath you will ease you mind a bit more...

King of Pentacles – He makes my soul happy

Today’s card is the King of Pentacles from the Original Rider Waite tarot. He stopped by to answer the question from Willows East for today: What is one thing that makes my soul truly happy?

I didn’t expect him at all. I had hoped for a more spiritual card but  he,…”the cards are never wrong”

Honestly I do enjoy my stuff and lots of other gifts the physical world has to offer me. I like my books, my deck, my home, good food and lots of coffee with chocolate on the side. Also the older I get the more kingly behavior I display; f.i. I’d rather enjoy my meals then have to cook then myself J

Another thing I seem  to appreciate more lately is my health and having time for myself.  I see both as a positive side effect of old age. Even though my physical health and flexibility is slowly declining I appreciate the things I still can do so much more than I used to and that encourages me to exercise and walk regularly.

Time for myself is one the greatest gifts. It almost feels like the more time I have the more I need. When I write this down, I suddenly wonder if it is possible that having spare time can become so addictive that we always need more…? 

Anyway these musings about the King of Pentacles have made it clear to me that his energy indeed makes my soul  happy.

The Hermit - Shine your light over me

There is this wonderful website, “Willows East”  created by Gretchen Pearl with a section called “First light”.

Each morning you can find there a question to use for your daily draw. This morning the question is: “what is one change I can make in my daily life?” And I got….. (drumroll)….. The Hermit from the Original Rider Waite Tarot! It always makes me so happy when he comes up. He has such a warm and kind energy and as you all know I find it very easy,  maybe sometimes too easy, to relate to this archetype.

He is all about taking time for  ourselves and  turning inward. And that is something entirely different than playing games on my tablet. Checking IG for new pictures, surfing the internet etc. No, the lantern of this Hermit is absolutely not a symbol for tablets and smart phones, how tempting it might be to think so. The Hermit asks us to really be with ourselves without any distractions. This can be difficult because often when we are silent and all alone, our inner voices begin to whisper things we rather not  hear. The Hermit asks  us to sit with what is and whatever comes up and to shine our gentle light of compassion over it.

A Few of My Favorite Things Spread

Yesterday I found a lovely tarot spread on IG, created by Magpietarot and it's called: “A few of my favorite things spread". I thought it would be fun to try it out here and I chose the Crystal Visions Tarot to do this. You have to separate the Minor Arcana into suits. Than shuffle your little stacks and pull one card from each suit to answer the questions below. I also pulled one card from the Majors because I didn’t want them to feel left out.

From the Wands: Where does my confidence shine?  Eight of Wands – Wnen I am on a roll and everything is going my way.  I don’t mind doing a lot as long as all the horses are running in the same direction. Then I feel like I am the queen of the world
From the Cups: What brings me joy? Queen of Cups.  Very simple but not so easy: To love and be loved and feel connected to  God(dess)

From the Swords: Where do I feel wise? Four of Swords – Haha, that is a good one! When I take a time out when I need it and not when it is already long overdue.

From the Pentacles: What makes me feel safe & secure? Eight of Pentacles – When I do the work and stay in the moment. Whether it is painting a picture or doing the dishes. 

From the Majors: Which underlying energy will make it all possible? The Hanged Man. To let go of all ideas about what I think I should do and try to live more in the here and now, where I might see things from a fresh point a view.

Year Ahead Spread April – Jera and The Devil

My rune for April is Jera (harvest,year), which is the rune for cycles, the turning of the wheel, slow and steady development and karma.

 “What you sow you will reap” is a very fitting phrase for this rune.

So far it is looking quite promising but the card I pulled for this month seems much more challenging: The Devil from the Wild Unknown Tarot. For me the Devil has a  broad range of meanings. From honoring our sensuality and enjoying the physical  part of our life to serious cravings, addictions and obsessions. As most human beings,  I move between those two and encounter every other aspect of The Devil in in between.  For me he is not always “bad” or “sinful” but he is a seducer and it is often very tempting to  indulge ourselves

So how do these two fit together? Maybe The Devil will shake up the harmonious slow energy of the Jera a bit but Jera will keep me accountable  for every “slip” I make, how enjoyable it might have been.  Perhaps Jera  will also encourage me to pause before I give in and let me asses if it is really worth it. How often do we want to experience something very pleasurable only to regret it afterwards: eating that second piece of cake, buying the best deck ever, binch watching TV series etc. Jera  ask us to consider, before taking action, if we should indulge or restrain. And mind you this is not the same as living with a big “NO NO” in our mind. It tells us to be cautious but also to live a little. And Oh, if you think you have outwitted the Devil this time, Jera will make sure he is just a around the corner to try to tempt you again when you are expecting him the least

Of course I don’t now how this month will turn out but it feels like a interesting and probable exciting pair to work with.