The day
before yesterday I had very frustrating experience with my painting. I knew I
wanted to paint something, anything. I tried so hard but nothing worked and I
felt like such a failure. I was so angry and disappointed with myself. Perhaps me
beating myself up was even worse than making such an unsuccessful
painting. After reading the post from Louise about her Pathway spread, I felt a lot better. The cards advised
me to stay away from activities that cause frustration and to sit out my inner
storm.
Since I
have this deck myself I thought let’s do my own pathway spread. My question
was: How can I work trough my creative blockages?
 |
| The Wildwood Tarot |
1 The
issue : The Forest Lovers
This
card was a nice surprise to get on Valentine’s Day but it also threw me of balance.
What does the lovers card has to do with my question? But when I thought about some
more, I knew it is a perfect card to draw since this card, beside addressing romantic
love, also speaks about loving every part
of yourself to become a whole person. After that union new things can be
created, new sparks will ignite.
2 Action to avoid: Ten of Stones – Home
I’ve interpreted
this card in this position as a warning not to hide in my house and behind the
business of family life or perhaps worse: Pouting in my room
3 Action to take: Seven of stones – Healing
Instead
I want to take the time to heal and to reunite with the parts of me that have
been hiding in the shadows. It felt almost as if I was lying in a circle of
calcified aspects of myself who are still able to protect me but who are also waiting
to be acknowledged.
The
first thing I did was listing every
aspect of me I could think of and that already had a surprising result. Besides:
the good mother, the little girl and the perfectionist, there were also the adventurer who was afraid
of nothing at all and the one who says sorry all the time. The hardest thing is
to keep writing and dig deeper. Forgotten parts don’t always have to be
negative sides of yourself.
I know this
process will take time but I think it will be very exciting and rewarding whatever the outcome
will be.
It is very frustrating to work on a creative project and feel stymied. But you wouldn't be mad at your body for being sick, so why be mad at your creative muse? Off days happen, but I think you drew some excellent cards to help you figure out your direction. :)
ReplyDeleteI know. Perhaps I've overreacted but that's something I do too. There are more colors than black and white. I will try to be more gentle with my muse :)
DeleteThank you!
What else do you love Ellen? I love knitting, colour, and nature, and when I feel creatively blocked I find working on other creative projects can help as long they don't become a distraction. Knitting can be meditative and puts me in a relaxed frame of mind. Colour feeds my imagination and this in turn feeds my creativity, keeps me motivated, and fuels my excitement. Nature gives me room to breathe and keeps me grounded. Try approaching your work with the mindset of a child... let yourself play, and make a mess if you need to :)
ReplyDeleteIt is hard for me to just play.. There is always that nagging part that has to perform.
DeleteI will try your suggestions. Perhaps I will pick up artjournaling again which is similar to what you have done the other day.
Luckily I can always write. This block only manifests when I want to create something graphic
This is such a beautiful reading! I love how you looked beyond the most obvious interpretation of the Lovers, and your intuitive reading of the other two cards, really looking at the images creatively. Wishing you much luck exploring all those different aspects of yourself!
ReplyDeleteThank you very much Kerry. It just was one of those readings where the cards just clicked with me. It is always nice when the cards speak to you on a personal level.
DeleteEllen, I can certainly identify with the predicament that led you to do this reading. Having a strong creative drive is usually a blessing, but when you hit a point where you feel blocked or restricted, it's so frustrating! I will make use of this spread myself, so thank you for sharing it.
ReplyDeleteThank you for understanding. Although it is "just"a three card spread it has given me a lot to work with
DeleteHopefully things will change for the better over time. A Creative drive is like breathing in and out, like ebb and flow I guess.
Interesting reading there, Ellen.
ReplyDeleteI can see the perfectionist in both yourself and I, thinking of the finished project and how you want it to be, from your very first brush-stroke.
Maybe the answer is to become uncomfortable? Maybe that is what the 'home' card suggests - to venture out from what it is you feel comfortable in doing. Trash the paintbrushes for today, use your fingers or rags, start from a corner of the page, unaware of what it is you will create. Make yourself understand that whatever erupts in front of you is perfect and meant to be. That is the fun. Maybe that 10 of Stones is telling you to loosen up and get uncomfortable for a reason?
When I was at art-school, we used to try exercises like drawing on the paper without lifting off our pencil. All of those bits you would usually brush away were left and were beautiful. We'd time ourselves - 2 minutes a sketch. We'd paint with sticks and ink or over textures or newspaper. It gets you out of yourself and your preconceived ideas of how something should be.
All of this could be very healing. I see those Lovers as you, accepting that side of your artistic self which you possibly try to suppress in fear? It could be an ego thing, worrying that only the 'best' will do. However, the best might look very different to how you imagine it ;)
Hi PLN thank you for you elaborate comment. You are so right about many things: The ten of stones as my comfort zone, the ego who wants to be in control and the Lovers who symbolize embracing my creativity and whatever she brings to the table.
DeleteAfter my reading from today I see your words a gentle nudge to play like a child and not be afraid
Hugs
Maybe sit this card up as you 'play' ;)
DeleteMight help you to remember. I see you in that adult, wanting to let go in the same way as the kids in the background.
http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-C2rIn7RYsHA/UJPqSwZRLqI/AAAAAAAAAko/t7lZPQMD8dE/s1600/6C-druid.JPG
This card hits the mark. It touches me deeply. Thank you
Delete