Shadow work and preparing for Imbolc

The last week of the Solitary Tarot and Oracle challenge is all about shadow work. And to be honest at first I wasn't excited about that at all. As soon as I heard Reacine mentioning the theme of this last week my I burst out  a whole repertoire of excuses: it is not the season to do this kind of exercises, my deck is far to sunny, I know my shadow part already, I don’t want/need to know my shadow parts, first I have to watch YouTube video or read blogs about shadow work etc. All these excuses were born out of fear and anxiety for the unknown.

And then I pulled the Four of Stones which summarized  how I felt perfectly: in the doorway to my path which will lead me to self-awareness is standing a huge heavy chest filled with blocking attitudes and false assumptions of safety. So reluctantly I've started with the last week of my challenge: I am dipping my toes in to shadow work. Since this is all rather too personal to blog about, I thought I’d show you my altar for Imbolc. 

The goddess statue is a thrift store find from last week. When I saw her I immediately knew I had to take her home. I love that she is not overly detailed so I can see in her many aspects of the Goddess. For now she is Bridget to me. Lately I feel very drawn to the creative part of The Divine; to seek inspiration. A few days ago I was trying to write some poetry when I remembered that Brigid is the goddess of fire and inspiration and yes even of poetry. I thought it was fitting she would be my focal point for Imbolc.

Slowly the earth is waking up for Springtime and I feel it is time for me to open myself up to her energy too and allow myself  to be playful and creative. 

My Thrift Store Haul

For today no daily draw. Yesterday I've been with M to  her new dentist and unlike previous experiences this time everything went so smoothly. She was very happy and she suggested to celebrate  this with a visit to a very  large thrift store in the same neighborhood. We both enjoy to snoop there.

We had a great time and got some amazing finds. Somehow a lot of my purchases are mainly spiritual items from different spiritual traditions: 

I have found a dark wooden standing crucifix and a wooden painted Madonna and Child. Together they are for me a representation of my most earliest belief system which I still hold dear to my heart.

Also I've found a little terracotta statue of Ganesha and a small elephant to go with it. He is for me the Kind Remover of my blockages. Then a dark wooden statue of a female mermaid (in my opinion Yemaya) with big breasts and a bowl filled with seafood in her hands, caught my attention and I couldn't leave her behind.  After that I thought I saw a small statue of an otter which reminded me of the Page of Cups from the Wildwood Tarot. Only when I came home S mentioned it was a seal (oops) but M suggested it could also be a selkie friend for my mermaid sea goddess.  The  Brigid’s Cross (made in Ireland) appealed to me very much. We already have a Brigid’s cross, I've made of wheat hanging, in our hallway and now I can have this one for in my bedroom

Also I've found a gnome with a mushroom head and some acorns in his hands to put up when autumn comes, and two little wooden boxes. One has the shape of an apple which reminded me of our apple tree and last but not least a lovely wooden tray and a tawny altar cloth (also for the Fall)

Immediately after we came home I've grabbed the beeswax and started polishing my wooden finds. Now they shine and smell great! What a perfect afternoon it was! 

It’s okay to ask for help

October 16: It is said that on the feast day of Saint Teresa the mosquitoes that have plagued us all summer with their buzz and itchy bumps have died.  What has plagued me last summer, and will no longer tease me now?

This morning my daughter and I have received a package in the mail with four oracle decks! We’ve bought them secondhand online for less than half the retail price. After some bickering and bargaining, she’s got the Shapeshifters oracle and the Magical fairies oracle, and I've got the Angel daily guidance oracle and the Magical mermaids and dolphins oracle. I've always wanted to buy one or two Doreen Virtue oracles. What they miss in layered and in depth meanings they compensate on a high level with their feel good vibe. I’ve once said to Magic Mentha: “Often when I pull comforting cards I sigh, and relax instantly just by seeing them”

Angel daily guidance oracle, Magical mermaids and dolphins oracle

Today I have to admit they can also bring some really spot on messages to the table. From the Magical mermaids and dolphins oracle I've got:  Accept Heaven's Help

"You've prayed for help, so get out of the way and let Heaven help you"

And from the Angel daily guidance oracle I've pulled: Listen

"Quiet your mind, Beloved One, and listen to our gentle reassurance that everything has been taken care of. Stay in a quiet and receptive state, without worrying about the exact nature of your desire's manifestation. A quiet mind and body hears us quickly and clearly. This is our request to you : Listen.

Lately I've developed a persona/mask of the strong woman who can do everything herself: I don’t need help.  A month ago my body resisted this notion and gave me a neck hernia. Okay, I've got it: I do need help. With this hernia suddenly I had a lot of time on my hands to think an ponder about what it is I want and desire most in my life. The cards have taught me that you can’t force this process but rather I have to let it unfold in its own time.

And then I've drawn these two cards and I feel loved and supported. Again the cards tell me not to worry about me finding my greatest desire. Instead they urge me to meditate and listen. And also I realize that spiritually I don’t have to do everything by myself either. There are helping energies around us. I firmly believe that. Whether you call them angels or something else. it is okay to admit you need help sometimes.

Autumn is coming…..

Finally the temperature is dropping to normal for this time of year.

I am really an a fall/ winter person. When summer is almost over I begin to long for the indoor activities. The wonderful peace and quiet of my own living room, where I can read a book and enjoy a hot cup of coffee . I long for my long-sleeved shirts, for scarves and for socks and boots. Lots of earthy colored candles  can be lit again…. .

Yesterday I have pulled out my Watercolor supplies It has been too long since I have played with them. Yes that is the main issue: dare to Play. Don't be scared if it is not going to good enough. It doesn't have to become a  beautiful painting on the wall. Just play. I recently had bought some small books in a local  thrift store about how to make watercolor paintings. One was about making flowers. So I made a flower and It felt so relaxing to copy this flower right out of the book  with the watery paint on my paper. Just one flower, nothing more. It was fun to do and I am sure I will play again.