Since the
beginning of July I have been regularly
posting pictures on Instagram and I am really
enjoying it. Sometimes I make pictures of my daily draws, of Jofee, of my dinner: just random snippets of my life. But to be honest
the reason for making my IG account public was the ttjulychallenge by Steve from @tiferettarot. Then August came and I participated in the Listersgottalist Challenge.
And although I didn’t feel that great, I thought it could be healing to do something
creative every day. Well I didn’t finish it because it was too much pressure to create something "perfect"on a daily base but I was highly tempted to join one or two of the several tarot challenges for September on IG and then I realized I was fooling
myself. I was diverting myself from what is my main priority right now: regaining my spiritual
and emotional balance. So why would I invite intentionally more stress and anxiety into my life. Now
is the time for self love, for going within with compassion and kindness and hoping
to rekindle that flickering light of faith in, and connection with God
And then I saw the YouTube video of Kelly
Ann from The Four Queens about Self love September
And then I got it. I really am tempted to fill
my life with “noise”, even with “spiritual cloaked” noise but altogether it is still
noise for me right now.
The best gift of self love I can give
myself this month is to post pictures on IG if I want to, to write blog posts
if I have something to say and to love myself with every breath I take and with
everything I do or say.
And to be FREE!
"Do not follow the
ideas of others but learn to listen to the voice within yourself." (Dogen)
I think it can be healthy to distract ourselves when we have a huge emotional shock to contend with; it gives us time to find solid ground without falling to pieces. But that behavior is very tempting when there is difficult inner work to do (I'm an expert at it!). So good for you in being honest about what you were doing and why. Awareness is the first step. :)
ReplyDelete"You can't change what you don't acknowledge" I am glad I am not the only one. Silly how this can make such a difference in how we feel about ourselves. I am grateful to have you as my friend.
DeleteHugs
Rooting for you, Ellen!
ReplyDeleteThanks Rose ( had to Google this one; Oops!)
DeleteEvery opportunity that comes along, however tempting, isn't necessarily an opportunity that is best taken right now. That's important to figure out, and you clearly have. Good on you!
ReplyDeleteIt has taken me some time to figure it out but now I am glad I've got it. Hopefully I can remember it :D
DeleteGood for you! I know what it is like to start something and feel obligated to continue til the end. I stress myself out about things like that all the time (like keeping my blog posts consistent). It is so draining. Better to go with the flow...perfect Sacred Rebels card for this entry!
ReplyDeleteFunny you should mention Self Love September. I enjoy Kelly Ann's videos...they always have great advice. I plan to watch the series even if I don't fully participate. However, if something comes up that really inspires me I'll certainly give it a try!
Thank You! I consider this decision as a profound act of Selflove. Of course I am going to watch the series too but without any obligation to participate just like you :)
DeleteI love how you describe "catching" yourself so many times as you were falling into the net of distraction and "noise." That happens to us all so often, and it take a lot of self-awareness to realize those impulses and to let them slide past you!
ReplyDeleteIt sure does feel very liberated for now! I also notice how tired I really am from running from one task to the next :)
DeleteYour message has really "clicked" for me - I also feel alot of chatter in my head, that distracts me. I really think the focus on self- love for September (or all the time) is so needed. I remember following along last year, and making lots of notes from what Kelly Ann shared. I now just use one journal for everything - as I would look for "just the right journal" for each purpose, and cause myself stress. Thank you so much for sharing your journey - I know it has helped me...
ReplyDeleteHi Carol I am so glad this post resonated with you. I agree Selflove is a very important practice which a lot of us could benefit from. But not if I would squeeze Kelly Ann's ideas and suggestions in a self imposed moral obligation :)
ReplyDeleteI also have one journal for everything. But I still always doubt if I would write better or more in another one, bigger, smaller, different paper, travelers notebook, loos leaf, spiral bound.....
Now I even have put a sticky note near the end of my journal which reminds me how much I love this notebook and that I want to stick to this brand :)
I had to smile as I read this as I feel the same way about journals ;) I find it hard to settle on the right one! I am also trying to be less busy with doing things - I do find that even though I love checking youtubes etc. it is a distraction. I'm working on this for sure ;)
DeleteIsn't is strange how we turn the things we love into the obstacles of our own growth :D
DeleteSimple, brilliant, and right-on. xx
ReplyDeletethank you Beth!
DeleteSuch a beautiful, heartfelt post, Ellen! Congratulations on catching yourself before going into that pattern again, and on being kind and honest enough to find what is right for you :) I was very tempted by several Instagram challenges this month, too. But as you know from my reading last week, I've decided to dial back on lots of things, to focus on some stuff I need to get done. We'll see where our different plans and projects take us, but at least we're doing what feels right to us! :)
ReplyDeleteThanks Chloe! I am positive if we keep doing what feels right we can't go wrong
DeleteHugs to you my friend
And to you! ((Hugs))
Delete