Six of Swords – leaving my cawing crows behind

The last fourteen days have been a Swordy situation. Anyone who is a bit familiar with  tarot, knows this can vary from having enlightening revelations to being haunted by repetitive self defeating thoughts.  I had so many great plans for this period but not much has come to fruition. They are still floating around in my mind trying to make me feel guilty for not carrying them out.

Luckily I’ve managed to ignore them for now and I am glad to say that, although I am not very active yet, I do feel a lot better.

Swords cards are coming up regularly for me, especially the Six of Swords in combination with the Nine or the Ten. Also the Page is paying me a visit very frequently.  I mainly pull from the Shadowscapes Tarot. It is a gentle soothing deck but it doesn’t shy away from the harder lessons. The soft color palette reminds me of the coming Spring and the grey border resembles that touch of frost we don’t seem to get rid of here.

For today again I drew the Six of Swords. I love the depiction of the strong and nurturing  Swan,carrying the woman on her back between her wings out of a hopeless situation. All of her thoughts have turned black but her Swan is still radiant white, which is a promising prospect indeed.  Although I don’t know yet where I am going, I trust it is going to be a good place.

Also I want to thank you all for your lovely and heartfelt comments on my latest post. You’ve  all been so supportive.

Hugs Ellen

Resting in Her Embrace

With this card I want to let you all know, I am taking some time off from blogging and Instagram. Now my eldest girl and her boyfriend have moved out, after having lived with us for two and half month, I feel the need to take some time for myself to rest and reinvent myself. Feelings about this event are mixed up and there is an empty space waiting to be filled with more than distractions and escaping from the present moment.

I have so many ideas and so many plans and nothing is happening but watching TV series, playing games on my tablet and surfing on the internet. My three screens are making overtime. Posting pictures on IG and writing for my blog which I enjoy so much are starting to feel like to-do’s which I want to tick off, so I can feel good about it.

So for now, I just want to rest and do nothing besides reading some fiction, baking, walking, riding my bike, painting, writing in my journal etc. I’m not quite sure how long it will take. Trust, Letting go and Attention; these where my three words for this 2016. Maybe now it is the time to put them into action

Hugs Ellen

Queen of Cups - Sometimes kindness is overrated

Today’s; card is the Queen of Cups from the Shadowscapes Tarot. I’ve drawn this with the following question in mind: “What old beliefs are no longer true about myself?” This question is part of the IG Challenge about Self love. 

I felt a bit disappointed when I got the Queen of Cups. I do like her a lot and I don’t pull her often, so when she was to represent an outdated belief about myself, I was rather flabbergasted. But then it dawned on me. This message was about my belief that I always have to be caring and loving, creative and intuitive, emphatic and spiritual connected to be worthy of love. Because all those things are the result of self improvement, of listening to God(des) of being the best version me, I could be. But truthfully I am not. I am not that kind and caring and all those other things. Sometimes I am selfish and moody. I can be so angry and even cruel. Does this mean I don’t listen to my inner voice or God(dess); that I am not improving myself. No it means I am only human, worthy of a never ceasing Self Love. Because on the cold and clouded rainy days I deserve to be loved and cared for even more by myself that on the sunny days. 

Oil pastel of Brigid

This year I wanted to celebrate Imbolc by making an oil pastel painting of Brigid, a Celtic fire goddess of poetry, smithcraft and healing. 

Brigid is also sometimes called Mary of Eire. The similarities between Brigid and Mary has been the cause of my renewed interest in her. Both are benevolent protective aspects of the Divine Feminine. Especially Brigid’s aspect of Hearth goddess and her inspirational creative fire are both very appealing to me.

After some more study I’ve discovered that that Brigid was also revered in the southern parts of The Netherlands. Just a few kilometers from my home town, in a small village there is a St. Brigida church with a statue of Saint Brigid. They also have St. Brigida school and a St. Brigida street  You can imagine I’m going to visit that village any time soon now.

By sharing this painting with you I want to wish you all a blessed Imbolc or St Brigid’s day.

Hugs Ellen

Three of Swords - Ignoring the wisdom of my heart

Today’s cards are the Three of Swords and the Prince of Swords from the Goddess Tarot by Kris Waldherr.

For me the Three of Swords is all about making decisions which go straight against the heart, often without being actually aware it until our heart feels more like a pincushion than like a place where love springs from.

Hurting our Heart, undermining our Self Love, is a habit which we don’t shake off easily. Often it is advisable to start with baby steps. Be mindful if someone or some situation is asking or expecting something from you. Don’t react instantly but take a breath or two and feel. Try to find out what it is that you want, what makes your heart sing and then respond in a confident but friendly way. Even if you decide to go against your own wishes, this way you will know and maybe you can think of something to remove the sword afterwards: a bath, a cup of tea etc.

What energy will help me to brace myself against the expectations of the world: the Prince of Swords. He is a young but already strong-willed and very articulate. There will be no confusion about what he wants and why. Notice how his neck collar is protecting his heart and how he holds his swords near this very vulnerable but precious part of himself.

He will teach me to stand up for myself and be clear about my need and wants not only to others but more so to myself. 

Oil Pastel Painting: “full Moon Song”

It's quite obvious, I can’t get enough of my oil pastels. For this painting I’ve used some photo’s which I’ve found online for reference, to be able to draw the wolf and the woman in the right pose. The whole painting is made with shades of grey and blue in order to create a nighttime feel.  So far it has been a great oil pastel adventure…

Two of Swords – Listen to your heart

Today’s card is the Two of Swords from the Anna K Tarot. Instead of the usual blindfolded woman the man in the depiction is walking away from his swords. Maybe he is hoping when he pretends they are not there he doesn’t have to deal with them. But it is obvious this isn’t working: the sand from the beach outside has found its way into the room, the floor is cracking, the waves high and from the anxious look on his face I am sure he knows. It is a new moon, the perfect time for new beginnings and facing his responsibilities 

Often when we try to make up our mind with only our intellect our decision doesn’t feel quite right. A little voice starts nagging us. Although we have decided, we are still doubting if we did the right thing. Only when head and heart are both being heard a balanced decision can be made and the man in Two of Swords  can go home to the Ten of Pentacles, where he can enjoy the simple things of life with his family. There he will experience a peace of mind which he thought he had lost in the tidal waves of the stormy sea.