Today’s card is Gaia, The World, from the
Goddess Tarot. Gaia is the Greek primordial Mother Goddess who existed before everything
and created all of life. She is the personification of Earth. Just like for
example: Erda ( Norse) and Mut (Egypt). I think every religion has his own version
of the Creative Instigator of Life: God, Spirit. Mother, Father or whatever
name you have chosen for this Creative Force
Lately is
has been somewhat more difficult to open up and feel connected to my God(dess). It
feels like I am going through the motions but the feeling isn't quite there anymore. Then I am reading on different blogs
about trusting and feeling connected with God(dess), angels and/or guides. About knowing they are
always there for you and we are not alone. Being a swords person, I know this all
too well. But feeling and trusting these
beliefs is something quite different. This is when your intuition and gut feeling
come into play and those are not my strongest qualities. I wonder why this is a
constant returning issue for me….Perhaps it all comes down on my fear of
letting go and losing control. For now I will keep meditating and practice
gratitude and “trust” this too shall pass….
Wowza... what a beautiful card! I think I understand what you are going through. With my spiritual path, sometimes I feel a dullness and void too. My head might be connected, but my heart isn't. I have to shake up my routine a little; lately instead of sitting and meditating, I take long walks and chant. I may even physically rearrange things (altar, etc.). I used to think I just went in cycles, moving far away, then coming back to connect the ends of the circle. But now I think I move in more of a spiral, I come back but with a different understanding than I had before. But it sure isn't very comfortable when you're on the far side of things!
ReplyDeleteThanks Bev, for sharing you personal experiences. I like this spiraling idea. It is exactly how I feel during these empty phases in my life and when I look back at them it fits even more
DeleteAltar: I've been thinking of clearing it completely like I did last November with only a few items left. (http://greyladyshearth.blogspot.nl/2013/11/clearing-my-altar.html)
Any way it helps to know I am not the only one feeling like this sometimes :D
Thanks for being here my friend
Hugs
Dearest Ellen, dryness of spirit I call it. At times like this I think about Thomas Merton who said the desire to know the Creator is all that is expected. Having a willingness to be willing. You certainly always have this, I can see that clearly. I know when I don't seem to have the ability to pray but want to, is a prayer in itself. <3
ReplyDeleteThank you for these encouraging words Catherine. I am surely willing. The desire is certainly there. And as you say,maybe in this dryness of spirit I am even more willing then when everything is"just fine"
DeleteThank you my friend
Hugs
I gained my greatest freedom when I let loose of any ideas of god at all.
ReplyDeleteLetting go of assumptions is hard. But ideas are mostly figments of the mind and have nothing to do with who God really is. That is why want to relate one heart level with the Divine or don't you think there is anything out there?
DeleteYes I certainly agree with what you say about being more willing when experiencing dryness of spirit. I find this to be the case too!
ReplyDeleteMaybe that is why we have are pulled out of our comfort zone now and then:D
DeleteI agree Sharon,
ReplyDeleteAs humans we always seem to want to define, slot, and peg.
Synchronicity, maybe?? I just ordered this deck last night! Well, the pocket version. I'm looking forward to exploring it. Yes, I think even our spirituality goes in cycles, so it's normal to feel waxing and waning. You can trust that it will flow through you again, and sometimes I think that's the greatest beauty - that no matter what, they're there waiting for us. It's comforting. Sending hugs your way.
ReplyDelete"Waxing and waning" I like to compare this to the moon cycle. I am sure it will come back to me It always has, but now your hugs are very welcome :D
DeletePs This deck is really great to work with it. It has a very soft feminine energy but not at all fluffy
DeleteMaybe we have to continue to go through the motions?
ReplyDeleteSometimes, we eat when we don't feel hungry, because we have to.
Sometimes, we get up and on with our day even though we want to stay in bed,
You will feel connected again. I don't have experience of these things but I imagine it is like having a friend. Just because you haven't seen them in a while recently, it doesn't mean they are no longer important.
Your concern that you are not 'feeling it' says to me that you actually feel so strong about this aspect of your spirituality that you probably are more connected than those who do not give such a loss a second thought.
About the last alinea of you comment: lol I think you are probable right.
DeleteIf you say, you don"t have experiences like this, do you mean you always feel connected or don't you believe there is anything to connect to?
I meant that I don't have a specific practice, like you have with the Gods and Goddesses. I've not looked into personal deities for me this far.
DeleteI don't see them as personal deities either but more as aspects of Spirit to give a face to focus on :D
DeleteI think sometimes part of the problem is precisely reading other people's blogs and thinking "I don't feel the way that they do". We all experience and express things in our own ways. After seeing your newly established altar this morning, I looked at mine and thought how cluttered it looked. Yet, just yesterday I regretted not having the time to stand before it and pray, which I did today. It was only in comparison that I notice the jarring, the feeling that maybe I was wrong/my altar was wrong...
ReplyDeleteYou are right. Just as in your comment to Be: "about defining ourselves in contrast to others"
DeleteThe grass is always looks greener on the other side of the fence. :D
In fact we do have chosen a lonely but exciting and challenging path; spiraling uphill
:D Beautifully put, Ellen!
Delete